Remotes Down, Hands Up

Top Chef, one of TV's best reality-competition series, returned this week, and it was great to see head judge Tom Colicchio (brutally honest but always classy) out there with his whistle for the first Quickfire challenge. It seems to be a tradition for these Bravo shows to set us up for the first elimination with a soundbite of a contestant (or in Top Chef's case, "chef-testant") confidently assuring us that they won't be ousted prematurely. Such was the case with Lauren. "I'll be damned if I go home early," she said, before being whisked off on a New York ferry for making a subpar apple dish.

As happens too often with reality shows in these early rounds, there are simply too many contestants and not enough time, leaving viewers with no real sense of who these people are until the competition is whittled down to around ten or so people remaining. So far, producers have spent the most time with dueling Europeans Stefan and Fabio, the former possibly being set up as this season's Marcel. There's also wacky Carla, whose "spirit guides" were supposed to lead her to create a great dish, but apparently led her astray instead. And Team Rainbow, made up of the house's three gay contestants, as if being gay somehow automatically makes a person more interesting. It doesn't. Nor does it make one a good chef, as Patrick, one of Team Rainbow's members, was told by host Padma Lakshmi to pack up his knives. Two down, fifteen to go.