Oscar at 82: In Need of a Facelift

I'm not sure why, but somehow I ended up watching many of this year's awards shows, from the Critics' Choice Awards to the Golden Globes to the Screen Actors Guild Awards to the Film Independent Spirit Awards. So by the time last night's Oscars came around, I had already seen the same winners give the same acceptance speeches several times over. With this being such
a predictable year, at least in the acting categories, the producers of the Academy Awards telecast had their work cut out for them in order to make the evening slightly entertaining. Unfortunately, all they were able to muster was just that: a slight entertainment.

Hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin should have made the proceedings light and breezy. Instead, many of their jokes fell flat, such as Baldwin calling the Oscars the "biggest night in Hollywood since last night." Really? This is Oscar level humor? I found myself wishing that Neil Patrick Harris, who opened the show with a musical number and has in less than a year become an awards show staple, had stuck around and worked the same magic he displayed at the Tonys and Emmys. Martin and Baldwin's monologue was a lot of "Hey, there's [fill in the blank]," as they ribbed some of the celebrities in the front rows. There were a few light chuckles, no real gutbusters, and George Clooney, ordinarily such a good sport, was decidedly unimpressed with the shenanigans, sitting as he did for most of the night with a glower on his face.

Outside of a dance routine inspired by the nominees in the musical score category, and performed by a mix of former contestants from So You Think You Can Dance (telecast producer Adam Shankman is also a judge on that show) and a mind-blowing troupe called the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers, there wasn't a lot of energy in the room. Ben Stiller tried to spice things up, coming out on stage in full Na'vi regalia. A Paranormal Activity spoof with Martin and Baldwin in bed together was easily the night's funniest bit. As far as acceptance speeches went, Best Actress winner Sandra Bullock's was by far the most engaging; she honored the woman who gave her permission to follow her own path, showed genuine appreciation for her fellow nominees, and had fun with Meryl Streep.

With the exception of director Kathryn Bigelow's historic win, the rest of the major awards were a lot of been there, done that. Mo'Nique, Christoph Waltz, and Jeff Bridges (who can drone on like nobody's business) have another trophy to put on their shelves. And The Hurt Locker now bears the distinction of being the lowest-grossing film to ever win Best Picture, which means that most of the audience couldn't have cared less that it actually won.

Back to the show itself, though, it's amazing to me that after 82 ceremonies, Oscar hasn't found a format that truly works for it. I thought they were on to something last year when they presented the awards as a story, detailing the moviemaking process in the order it actually occurs rather than the hodgepodge we get most years. Is it too much to ask that, for just one night out of the year, the people responsible for captivating us on the big screen give it their all to make sure that their most prestigious awards ceremony is as satisfying as it can be? If you ask me, Oscar needs to fire his agent and look for better representation elsewhere.